SugaR Sweeet LoveeeeE....

2005-08-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hey,

Haven't been blogging much i realize. [thanks for the reminder Haz -rolls eyes- Haha] The prelims have started and i have been dreadfully busy. Furthermore, i have been BANNED from the net. [i fail to see the point. what's the use of paying for maxonline when u don't let us use it?] The mother tongue exams were a killer. Who gives a damn about the evolution of the dictionary? And i found the english exams quite hard. Which is bad, considering that apart frm Aimz, the rest of the girls found it easy despite their usual lacklustre grades in english -ooops- leading me and Aimz to conclude that THE CURSE OF MISS LEE HAS DESCENDED UPON US! -gasps- Miss Lee, our beloved english teacher who everyone seems to want to get rid of considering the number of times they suggested to another more bearable teacher to take her periods to teach us something, has always been going on and on about this girl who had a good grasp of english but never did her assignments leading to her dismal B3 grade in the 'o' levels. She in a haughty 'i-told-you-so' tone of voice. Hmm. Maybe she does voodoo on the students who don't do her homework. Haha.

Oh well. R.O.D. was yesterday. And it SUCKED. The whole point of an rod event is to let your ncos enjoy themselves but it was evident that it was a humiliation session for the ncos which was quite irritating. I hate it when the sec 3s start talking to us in this condescending tone of voice like they thought they were in power now and everyone has to listen to them. I bet they'll make SJAB hell for the rest of the cadets. When we were the ncos, it was evident that we spoiled all the cadets rotten. Doing all the cleaning for them during camp and letting them get away with murder practically every single training. I really doubt that the cadets will find enough tenacity and perserverance to overcome this hurdle. It was the first day as ncos and they ALREADY showed their domineering sides. But this is just a prognosis. I really hope they would be a better bunch of ncos than we were and i wish them all the best.

I have so many thoughts in this grey mass behind my eyes right now but i can't seem to string them into one coherant entry. Hmm. Maybe next time Haz. Haha.

Love,
Faz.

2005-07-02T03:39:00.000-07:00

You can read me baby like an open book,
Stop me in my tracks with only just one look.
And when the lights go down
and it's down to you and me girl.
Ooh, you turn me inside out.
I'm still in love with you today
Cause you make me HAPPY!

i love you.

faz. :)

2005-05-13T02:53:00.000-07:00

And it's all over. Somehow it leaves me very HYPED. So before the release of the marked scripts, i guess i better enjoy feeling happy before it all comes tumbling down. :)

Hmm. There's a dialog with the principal next monday. Ms Lee was droning about how the p. usually talks to the graduating classes and we're supposed to give our feedback and stuff. What a load of bs. It's an obvious fact that what we think, would not make a difference. As proven by the fact that we had a similar student vs. council dialog, NOTHING changed. What makes this session different? But then again i think the dialog would be more of, 'it's-your-graduating-year-so-you-guys-would-have-to-buck-up' things. In my honest opinion, looking at her, would be motivation enough. On the hindside, maybe she isn't that bad. It's just that us students, hate to be subjugated under a single all powerful figure. And she makes the cut. The bad politics against her by some of the teachers aren't helping her image as well. Well, enough about her, maybe she deserves a chance. Her ambitions aren't hurting the school in any way. It just leaves us very pissed. :)

Oh, as expected, they're exploiting the chinese opera again. Sooner or later, it probably would become our niche. Haha. They're putting up woman of valour, which probably isn't a bad thing as opposed to the staging of Ramayana. I think the whole class is going. Should i go? Maybe i ought to take it like a social event instead. Hmm.

Aimz did an AWESOME job in her speech today. [though she had help] I think it really changes the perception of everyone in class. I really ought to get her speech and post it up here.
(p.s. Aimi, i really wouldn't be surprised if you get voted as the general secretary to the UN)

Toddles.

Love,
Faz

2005-05-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

Hey,

Feeling rather jaded lately. Five more papers to go. Can't wait till it's all over. :)

It's rather enlightening to see my crazy hyperactive classmates settling down and actually studying. My whole class is aptly described as A for intelligence, D for effort. And i think they enjoy being that way. This is our final year together. A part of me can't wait till we part. [Me and aimz have been wondering what we did to deserve getting into the class.] But i guess, i'll miss them. I'll miss Sammie's lame pranks and sarcastic nature. I'll miss the guys and their antics that never fail to make me laugh. I'll miss CHICKEN and talking nonsense with him. [i think he gets what i mean] So i guess in numerous ways, being in the class ALWAYS makes me laugh.

I'm rather worried about Hariz. Sometimes, he makes me feel like all he wants to do is just give up. I just feel like he's an awesome person and i wish he would come to realize that one day. He's one of those guys whose life is so screwed up that all u wanna do is give him a hug, hoping that it might make him feel better. He deserves so much more than what he's allowing himself. Really.

I'll continue this later. Rather busy at this moment.

Love,
Faz

2005-04-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

I Passed My Run!

Am very exhilarated. Maybe Evon's watch is charmed. Haha. Had the stopwatch running and started sprinting cause looked at it and went, "Holy cow! I'm running out of time!". So i sprinted and made it by like 21 seconds. Last girl to pass. Whee~ I was channelling all my anger that i had towards achmad to running. He's such an asshole. -sigh- I told him that i didn't like him AT ALL and to lay off and he got hurt, then angry and then started hurling vulgarities at me. Totally uncalled for considering that he had a girlfriend and was probably planning on toying me. [damn, i pity his girlfriend. imagine what SHE has to put up with] He's just not the type of guy that i have in mind. He's a MAT for a start and though i don't have anything against mats, i just don't see me EVER dating a mat. I need someone to connect to me on an intellectual level. Talk about things that i want to talk about. I want someone intelligent, gentlemanly and probably possessing a little influence. Just a nice guy on the whole. He's neither of what i'm looking for. I don't want to lead him on. Why can't he forgive me for that?

Love,

Faz

2005-04-01T07:24:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Let's start out with:

Happy Birthday Bro!

His PSP my dad gave him for his birthday is so cool! I'm envious. -hint, hint-

love,

Faz

2005-03-19T03:03:00.000-08:00

Heya!
Camp has come to a rather unceremonious close. Haha. I enjoyed being a camp instructor. ~~But i really don't like the cadets.~~

Sometimes i think they don't know how to differentiate between us being their NCOs and us as their friends. But then again, i think we've been too nice to them. So much that they don't take us seriously when we tell them to do things till we start screaming at them and then they'll give us the pissed off expression. :( Sec ones this year aren't a very promising bunch. I think they're aptly described as blur blocks with blank faces. And they're rebellious. -headache-

Erm. The programme for camp was rather interesting. We had enough manpower this year to organize something fun for everyone. It's rather heartwrenching though, to hear that the cadets think we get special privileges [which we don't] since we've been slogging our butts off for them to make sure they get the best that we can give. So yah. Hike at the Bukit Timah SLOPE was uneventful. Haha. Somehow i got the satisfaction like i successfully climbed Mount E. or something when i reached the 'summit'. The whole corp started singing and stuff like a bunch of deranged monkeys or hyperactive toddlers who had more than their fair share of refined sugar [which i think they have - from the super sweet concentrated drinks].

My whole body's sore. I have no mood to write anymore. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being me.
Faz

2005-03-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

Falala. Hey guys,
Haven't been blogging in quite a while right? [yes, i realize that Haz] Well, i'm suffering from a major BURNOUT - both mentally and physically. So much that the thought of dropping everything and just going to bed seems so tantalizingly seductive. Seduction that i'll do well to avoid. Haven't read the camp proposal yet and camp is in a week's time. It's about 60 pages long and i'm evading reading it. Basically, i'm just too lazy to read it. -grins-

The week has been a nice one, no doubt and that leaves me VERY pleased. Haha. Went out with Hariz [the other one] on Monday and i basically had fun talking to him. He's a very good listener and i feel so much at ease pouring my woes to him. He's an awesome buddy and i love him THAT much. [in the platonic sense] Training on Wednesday was awesome as well. Hmm. I think it was due to the fact that there wasn't any drills on that day. We had an exchange program with the guides and scouts where we spent 30 minutes learning something and the rest of the time talking nonsense. We had last parade on a wet parade ground so WE, even though we're NCOs, started stomping on the ground really hard, splashing dirty water over everyone. Childish, but still fun. :) Hmm and the meeting was a bunch of laughs as well. So training wasn't as dreary as it usually is.

Oh, come join the ALA! [anti-lee alliance] My form mistress is driving the class up the wall and i think the process is mutual. -sighs-

7 more months to go.

Love, Faz.

2005-02-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

Half the night i waste in sighs,
In a wakeful doze i sorrow,
For the hands, the lips,
For the eyes - for the meeting of tommorow.
-Alfred Tennyson

It's over.

Love,
Faz :(

2005-02-05T01:10:00.000-08:00

Ola,
It's been weeks since i last updated eh? Not that anyone reads this. [does anyone really?] Haha. Oh well, sec 1 welcome party has come and gone. It was rather enjoyable, though i was REALLY wishing I was the one playing the games instead of overseeing them. Next big project coming up, G4 camp -since NPCC would be MIA. This year's camp is supposed to be a FUN camp. Damn, why are we such nice NCOs? It's basically an all games camp. 3 days of pure, saturated fun. That leaves alot of planning and work for us to do. Bad news since the camp is in March which leaves us with just under a month to complete the proposal and get stuff going. But i reckon, we would manage. Like we always do. [we've basically been pretty lucky at these kind of things]

Oh, remember the english test i was writing about? Well, we got it back. And surprise, surprise, i didn't screw up on it. Haha. Despite my plot and all being absolutely uncreative and basically terribly L-A-M-E. I'm surprised. Bwahaha. It's been a hectic 5 weeks. Terribly taxing but at the same time its exhilarating. I've got tonnes of homework and revision papers to complete. More than i recall ever having in the last 3 years. Just as well, i'd need ALL the practice i can get. My weekdays are jampacked with activities leaving practically no free time for myself or my friends. With my tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays and fridays blocked out for volunteer work, CCAs, remedial and tuition respectively, it effectively leaves me with only Mondays free. I still don't understand the rationale of having training for UGs on Wednesday. It leaves us horridly tired and thursday is almost always test day. Teachers usually find those of us in UGs not handing in hw and screwing up stuff on Thursdays. So yes, it's STUPID. Time for a change i reckon.

Loads of love,
Faz

2005-01-21T04:19:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Final recruitment [i think] for sjab is 26. Which is good. Haha. They're so adorable. Dimunitive versions of the current batches of students. Lalala. My computer is being attacked at all fronts by vicious viruses. Looks like i'm going to get a dressing down from my dad due to the fact that i'm the only one who goes to these unprotected sites. Ironically, these are the fun ones. Fun but dangerous. Well, ppl ought to take risks in their lives i reckon.

We're reading this very political book for literature lessons. Suratman Markasan rocks. I never thought i'll enjoy reading a malay novel having read, currently, only 4 or 5 books which is bad considering most of them was read during my primary school days. I glanced through the book before we started on it at the start of the year and i actually found it boring but reading it with cikgu k made me see the underlying meanings to the text. Good literature is deceitful, it blinds you with it's shallowness so you fail to see the depth of writing. [think of it as a parralex error, haha] Literature is really enjoyable for me, i like reading. Hmm.

I screwed up my compo common test which is of horrid consequence as i've never failed an essay before. Hmm. The topic somehow didn't bring me much inspiration to write. It was a personal recount. I HATE recounts. The open ended question, which was flight, obviously would have been a better choice for me so it's too bad we didn't get a chance to choose. On the other hand, i was glad that the chem diagnostic test was actually relatively simple. [despite me finding out i've made an absolutely STUPID mistake]

Oh, fatin has a love affair with me. Isn't that right fat? Haha. Ikhsan thought i was gay. [note: this isn't true. Gay as in happy yes. Gay as in not straight, no.] Firdaus is absolutely charming, he somehow reminds me of elf. A little plump but generally cute. Haha. He gives me the knowing smile everytime he sees me. I guess that's because he's ahmad's brother. Damn, i ought to put records straight lest he thinks i'm REALLY going out with his brother. [impossible]

Btw, i'm gg to Johore tmr if, so i'll probably be uncontactable. If you need anything PLS leave a message.

Loads of love,
Faz

2005-01-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

Hey, notice that the picture's missing. Hmm. Have to find new image hosting. Idea's anyone?

Had the annual con-sec 1's-into-thinking-sjab-is-actually-fun day. The sec one's are so unassuming and adorable. Yes, and Iqbal is very sweet really. Haha. The sec four's are turning into pedophiles one by one. Had to wear colored bands that day. I honestly thought we looked absolutely awful. But i'm glad that there were more co-ordination and teamwork amongst all of us. :) Turnout this year would be relatively low i'm thinking. Most of the guys [and some of the girls] had the intention of joining NCC. Guys with the motive of testing their endurance, and girls for the cute CI and NCOs. Rather demoralizing considering that in the past, NCC had much difficulty in even getting 20 recruits. I'm getting boring. Uzair's coming every monday and wednesday for higher malay. I'll do well to run and hide. Haha. My mum's new spy. ;)

Hmm. Speaking of UGs, i am having a blast polishing my boots. :) Haha. Was tearing my hair out trying to polish them when if and haz sauntered in. And well, we started a heated argument on the merits of neutral polish as compared to black ones. Me and if on the side of neutral naturally and haz on the side of black. It was, very amusing. And haz, neutral still ROCKS.

An update on lessons. Suzanna Lee is pissing the hell out of me. She's a nutcase when it comes to pronouciation. And treats us like little kids who have no idea how to read and write properly. She means well, but she's annoying all of us. Damn.

Love,
Faz

2005-01-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

Auguries Of Innocence

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill'd with doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thro' all its regions.
A dog starv'd at his Master's Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus'd upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear.
A Skylark wounded in the wing,
A Cherubim does cease to sing.
The Game Cock clipp'd and arm'd for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright.
Every Wolf's & Lion's howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul.
The wild deer, wand'ring here & there,
Keeps the Human Soul from Care.
The Lamb misus'd breeds public strife
And yet forgives the Butcher's Knife.
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that won't believe.
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov'd by Men.
He who the Ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by Woman lov'd.
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spider's enmity.
He who torments the Chafer's sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night.
The Catterpillar on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mother's grief.
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly,
For the Last Judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar's Dog & Widow's Cat,
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envy's Foot.
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy.
The Prince's Robes & Beggars' Rags
Are Toadstools on the Miser's Bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro' the World we safely go.
Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine;
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The Babe is more than swadling Bands;
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made, & born were hands,
Every Farmer Understands.
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity.
This is caught by Females bright
And return'd to its own delight.
The Bleat, the Bark, Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heaven's Shore.
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of death.
The Beggar's Rags, fluttering in Air,
Does to Rags the Heavens tear.
The Soldier arm'd with Sword & Gun,
Palsied strikes the Summer's Sun.
The poor Man's Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Afric's Shore.
One Mite wrung from the Labrer's hands
Shall buy & sell the Miser's lands:
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole Nation sell & buy.
He who mocks the Infant's Faith
Shall be mock'd in Age & Death.
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the Infant's faith
Triumph's over Hell & Death.
The Child's Toys & the Old Man's Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons.
The Questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to Reply.
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out.
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesar's Laurel Crown.
Nought can deform the Human Race
Like the Armour's iron brace.
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow.
A Riddle or the Cricket's Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply.
The Emmet's Inch & Eagle's Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile.
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you Please.
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They'd immediately Go out.
To be in a Passion you Good may do,
But no Good if a Passion is in you.
The Whore & Gambler, by the State
Licenc'd, build that Nation's Fate.
The Harlot's cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old England's winding Sheet.
The Winner's Shout, the Loser's Curse,
Dance before dead England's Hearse.
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro' the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light.
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night,
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.

-William Blake

2004-12-28T20:28:00.000-08:00

Trunch at Pan Pac was awesome. The desserts especially. But what truly made it awesome, was the company really. Good food and good company, what more can one ask for? [Yes, good company refers to you if. And you too haz. :)] Seafood was awesome too. It's hard to think that 3 people, could just sit there by the seaside just eating till we were bursting from the seams. I think we didn't finish the food. Wait a minute. I know for a fact we didn't finish the food. But nonetheless, it was essentially, a good day. :)

I have no idea what else to write really. Have to change my processor unit [read: brain]. I honestly think it's still working on celeron chips. Haha.

Toodles, Faz

2004-12-22T01:38:00.000-08:00

It's my mum's birthday today. So here goes:

Happy Birthday Mum!

She turns 43 today and she greeted it with an appalingly horrid bout of migraine which means the rest of us would do well to not do anything to agitate her lest she blows her top. Ironically, despite a resolve of not wanting to cook which has led us all to have to resort to consuming assorted junk at various eateries [despite it all being savoury, really], she spend the morning of her birthday COOKING if you would believe. Damn. Looks like i would have to dish out excessive compliments to please her. Not that i mind really. :)

It's going to be a new year in about eight days. Honestly, 2004 has been a very unproductive year. I think i've whittled away the whole year without any semblance of haste. Without even thinking that i might run out of time one day. It's been spent with the mindset that there would always be tommorow and therefore, why spend today doing -fill in the blank appropriately-? It is this mindset that leaves me much regret at 2004 draws to a close. I regret that i would never find another moment like the one that has passed before me, knowing full well that i've never lived the moment. Like a leave falling off a tree, i didn't even notice it passed before it was gone. I've wasted the year doing NOTHING and i can't help but feel like a failure. So never again. Never again would a year be spent like this year has been.

'he who never learns from history is bound to repeat it'

Trunch [ i had no idea such a word existed till the pp person said so, apparently it's a combination of lunch and tea time?] is set at the Pan Pacific Hotel this sunday. Don't stuff yourselves silly guys, seafood's on at 7 and overstuffing obviously does damage to your sleep. ;)

I would end this now. Start with an end in mind? Haha.

Loads of love, Faz.

2004-12-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

My two friends are fighting. I feel like it's somewhat my fault. Me=Evil. Yes. Made Ahmad do my homework. But he did it willingly. Am i bullying him? I think not. I did not bully him into doing anything for me. Heh. I miss school. Gee. I can't believe i'm saying that. School's resuming in 2 weeks. Hmm. Amazing how the holidays just flies past you. Before you know it, IT'S OVER. Damn it.

Miss Tham would not be back to greet us at the start of the year. She couldn't stand the tyranny of Mrs Ong. She's leaving us for the cute ppl in Victoria School. [as she put it.] I'll miss her. She was one heck of a teacher. Full of zest and enthusiasm for her students, who are, more often than not, treated like her friends instead. Urghhh. Good teachers ALWAYS leave.

I was wondering if life is so cheap. I'm much too immature i guess, to really disect the meaning of life. What am i here for? Should i really kid myself into thinking that i'll actually do sth meaningful in my whole life? Am i capable of causing change? Damn, i ought to find a purpose for my life.

Been reading up on my old entries. I'm starting on a clean slate. Reading back i realize how stupid and immature they were. Yes. In a moment in time something might seem so important and significant, at the end of the day, you realize how silly you were to waste your time pondering on what may seem like the most important thing in your life at that point of time. Yeah. I'm running out of time. [god, it sounds like i'm gg to die soon]

I've got to go now.

Loads of love, Faz.

2004-12-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

Hey. I'm at Singapore Poly now. Damn. The lcd screen projects such a HUGE text that i absolutely feel that the people here must be either near-sighted, myopic or legally blind. Heh. Most of my friends are away. On stupid camps and what not. If is in France [in the Louvre, most of the time no doubt]. He is such a nut. If you're reading this If, I want plently of Daim's chocolates and a little pewter model of the Eiffel tower.

Been spending the holidays studying if you actually believe that while my bro plays diablo every single day without fail. God, i hate that game. It's excessively bloody and gory. And what's up with the wolves following the character around? I'm not a game nut as you can see but i love the Sims for some reason. Maybe because i'm actually good at it. Yeah right. More like i'm good at cheating in it. Heh.

I don't have any clue what to say anymore. Amazing how you find you have so much to say when you're out but when you finally get the opportunity to say something, it sneakily removes itself from your line of thought. Bahhh.

love, faz

2004-11-21T04:24:00.000-08:00

whee~ haven't been blogging in the LONGEST time. i'm really feeling wrecked. i'm so tired- both body and soul. -sighs- can't help feeling pathetic. which i realize i actually am. hah! i've got my braces on. bloody hassle it is. but nonetheless, fun. bp's open house coming soon. shucks. feel bad abt actually conning those ppl into thinking that bp's actually a really nice, conduc[s]ive institution. my ass. brainwashing little kids who actually don't know any better. eventually they realize how mentally exhausting it is. and essentially, neighbourhood school kids are more well-off. oh and street smart. bp's only good at cultivating muggers that get depressed and reproached whenever their grades fall short of expectations. shucks. and the end product? a bunch of morally corupt, demoralized kids who on the facade, has to live with the preconcieved notion of being smart, arrogant brats who don't give a flying fart in space what their other friends in less prestigious institution think but inside, has to live with the concept of being neither here nor there. not the smartest of the bunch yet with expectations that they have to live with. my ass. psle is just a measure of how intellectually developed you are at an immature age of 12 not a measure of how sucessful you will be in the future. screw it. never did i expect my life to be so screwed up. thanks so much bp.
loads of love,
faz

2004-09-11T02:53:00.000-07:00

Hey. Been neglecting this for a very long while. [yes, i have come to that realization if :)] Just didn't have any inspiration to write the past few weeks. Stuff have happened, issues that come and go. But one thing has been weighing heavily on my mind when it's hammered again and again by instances that accentuate it. well, it just boils down to this: the much needed paradigm shifts. i agree that times have changed and it can't be expected that we live life like how the older generations lived but i guess the transition has been too fast and in addition to that, in the wrong direction. call me conservative but it's a fact that many of my kind are losing touch with tradition, with how their ancestors used to live. i'm not trying to be holier than thou, i'm not. i just despise the fact that my lingua franca becomes a channel for which i am humiliated and snubbed. so what if i'm english speaking, what abt them? where are their freaking values? why are they so willing to act like whores? i'll continue this later. trying to work out how to dload mp3's frm the net for my new player.
love, faz

2004-07-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

gahhh.. been neglecting this thing for a very long time.. i have been horridly busy and all that.. the start of term 3 is just exhilaratingly tiring. ahhhh... frankly, i have no inspiration to compose a piece decent enough. ever since the school's closure i've been stuck in this vacumn, it's like i have so many ideas to convey, so many insights that i want to share, but i can't seem to put in down to words. it's official. i have an evil plague in the form of writer's block and it's full-blown.. haha..

well today is speech day and due to the total misbehaviour of the boys during the councillors investiture,[-it wasn't totally their fault, to tell you the truth, it was boring. but then again, they shouldn't have made a total spectacle of themselves. to put it short, it was just plain RUDE-] they decided to let the sec 1's and 2's go as well which is, just as well, i wouldn't want to go even if i was paid please and the rest of the class seems to think that way too as peishan seemed to have to beg, threathen and force ten people from our class to go and the unlucky ten grudgingly went to the non-beneficial event where they were taught when and where to clap beforehand in case they wind up embarassing themselves. it is that pathetic.

my weekend is totally blown. i have a ton of homework to complete thanks to the merciless teachers. oh and i have to go to the school parade rehearsal due to the fact that despite my lack of ability to treat wounds and fainting spells, i have public duty, for the next 2 weeks. i have to go to ngee ann directly after that, although i have somewhere else i want to be, cause i promised someone that i'll go there to support her and i have tickets, can't let them go to waste. then on sunday, i'll go out with the girls and we'll be watching the woman in black at the dbs arts centre and i have to go to this family gathering crap cause it happens to be my grandma's birthday. can you say B-O-R-I-N-G? oh crap, i have to study now.. chem test on monday and i realize i haven't been concentrating for the salt analysis topic. i'm am that screwed up.

love,
faz

2004-06-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

hey! i'm back.. from my tropical island reprieve.. haha.. yeah.. tropical bliss!! it was a wonderful experience. the island that is.. not the bumpy ~~irritating~~ journey there.. very uncomfortable, trust me.. but it was well worth it.. although, the island was very far away from the madness of something called civilisation, comfort was never compromised. all the basic necessities were provided so you really felt like a customer, not a commodity. the food provided at the terrace, which is the in-house restaurant, was great.. not excellent, yet edible and appetizing..

that's not the best part.. the best part, was the natural beauty of this island. compared to the bigger, more established islands that cater to tourists, the island was generally untouched, unless you count the resorts. even then, the island was generally left in it's original state. it isn't called malaysia's best kept secret island location for nothing. i always thought that you would have to go to the more established, media hyped islands like hawaii, the maldives and mauritius for you to celebrate true beauty of nature, but this island completely changed my view. there is beauty everywhere to be celebrated, waiting to be noticed. the island was located in a marine sanctuary, so naturally, the marine life was left to blossom for us to experience the delights when we went snorkelling and can you believe it, deep sea diving.. we saw nurse sharks, yes nurse sharks, that were huge, at the beach in front of the resort itself. saw clownfishes, swordfishes, groupers, and other fishes that i couldn't identify which were nonetheless, beautiful, like all the others. you barely have to go waist deep to see corals! well, you really need to experience it yourself to understand what i've been through.. i leave you to experience the delights on your own...
love, faz

2004-06-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

Whee~ in the computer lab now. supposed to do some lame-ass td thing. but yah.. here i am. but only because i did my fair share like eons ago.. haha.. at least this is better than doing footdrill.. [tt's what the sec 1's are doing btw... bwahaha] and at least the computers here are not laggy old p1 terminals. haha.. but it will be, maybe in a year or so.. but then again, i won't be using the lab again would i? haha.. fat's playing some stupid online gameboy thing. well, i think it's L-A-M-E [no offence fat :)] skipped madrasah yesterday.. whee~ like it is a total waste of my time. went to west coast to eat instead. haha.. anyway, i wouldn't want to go near those bloody stupid minahs. cause we have a mutual hatred of each other. [no, i'm not biased against minahs or anything but when they get me in a foul mood, well, let's just say i don't take too well to them ok?] those retards think that i'm crass because of my lack of ability to speak in malay. like hello? environment? not to say that my malay is bad.. but look at it this way, bpians talk in english even the malays. [well, majority of them] my family, converses in english. with my grandmother's brothers, i converse in chinese. get the pic? total no malay. unless there's someone who doesn't converse in any language stated above, then i speak malay. even then, it'll be a vile stuttering mess where i have to think of a malay word to replace the english word that i've already constructed into sentences in my brain. that means that my train of thought is totally interupted, so they presume that i'm a) not interested in talking to them b) i'm a shallow bimbo who can't come up with better answers or c) i just simply refuse to speak the language. i really don't talk in malay unless it's with a) my maid, b) relatives with whom i'm comfortable [yes, not any] with or c) in situations where i NEED to speak malay e.g malay oral, sastera and malay classes. even then, it'll be a crass mix of malay and english. so much for taking higher malay AND sastera. damn, i need to train my brain for a more effective switch from language to language. so hariz was bugging me about it and he was totally saying that he'll talk to me in malay like ALL the time so yahh... eurgh. malay... nvm... toodles. will update later.. tml perhaps.

love, faz

2004-05-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

wheee~
think i should update this now.. haha... after all exams are over... haha.. using the computer from the comp lab made me think tt i'm too darn used to my lappie's keyboard... which is like flat and like easy to press.. haha.. the computer lab one just made me pissed coz i had to look at the keyboard to see what i type.. hehe.. lalala... exams are over.. did i mention tt already? oh yah.. i did.. whee~ haha.. thanks so much to those who helped me out during my cramming sessions.. yahhh... to you especially iffie.. haha.. love you like always.. haha.. whee~ hit two last monday with him.. [not iffie... him -winks-] hahaha... yay! we rock don't we... falala... ermm.. yahhh.. u ppl should go here! yahh.. and view the presentation.. whee... inspiring.. really.. haha.. miss tham showed it to us like yesterday... yahhh... go have a looksie..

anyway, got pissed with what i hear.. damn you bitch.. she doesn't deserve all this crap from u ppl... seriously, she wasn't the cause for the breakup.. his feelings for her just waned into oblivion.. who's fault is tt anyway? NO ONE BUT HIM RITE? so you ppl should just go get a freaking life and like stop saying stuff abt this girl.. coz it just ISN'T TRUE. you ppl don't know her at all so go fuck a tree for entertainment instead yahh.. whee~ feel so much better after blurting tt out.. bloody fucker.. u don't know how it feels like for her to be betrayed by someone she thought was her fren... so GROW UP... pheww... i'm done ranting..

damn, i'm feeling so tired... lately, i've been like damn sleepy.. waking up feeling like i didn't sleep at all... haha... yahh.. and having boring lessons in school makes it worse yahh.. haha... so yahh... don't really feel like spending the time tt i can use to like sleep and do other soul feeding activities than go to school... wasting time.. rotting there.. and there's no teachers ard.. they should have just given us like an off day or sth.. no... stupid school.. some minister is coming tml.. they're going all out to fake a congenial learning environment.. they got the sec 3 emas students to perform for god's sake.. like have u even heard them playing the gamilan? thank god, i'm not involved... yahh.. and there's going to be like press and all.. so they're making this collosal fuss abt it... oh to all bpians who didn't noe.. THE BLOODY SCHOOL HAD SO MUCH FUNDS TT THEY INSTALLED CAMERAS ALL OVER THE CLASSROOM BLOCK.. yahh.. and what's up with the new i.corner? it looks so damn faked to me... wahaha.. pardon me, i'm just being ranty abt the misuse of school funds tt could be used to like get us better classrooms and facilities.. i mean, what the hell do u need surveillance cameras for? did they bloody think tt we'll actually not notice? uggghh... nvm.. enough abt the stupid school...

gonna watch troy this friday with like aimzz and fadiah.. so yahh.. it's gonna rock, i hope.. or else i could just drool at all the men in skirts.. haha.. lalala... wanna watch van helsing too.. aimzz says tt it's like really good... haha.. anyone wants to watch it with me? hahaha... yahhh... damn this entry is like long.. haha... i've not been capable of like writing looooong entries ever since like i was in sec 2? haha.. i noe.. anyway, i gtg.. food's awaiting... whee~

love, faz

2004-05-09T18:03:00.000-07:00

wheeee~
in the computer lab now.. at least the computers in lab 4 [which recently got replaced, where i am] is actually part way decent unlike the ones in the general labs... it's what, pentium 3? ugghh.. this is what happens when a school is operated on a shoestring budget.. ohwells... i'm delighted. joyous. ermm.. just plain happy! wheee~ yahh... haven't been updating in like damn long.. excuses aside, the real reason is tt i'm freaking lazy to update this thing.. haha.. yahh... falala... gtg// falala.. bye

2004-04-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

heya! haven't been blogging in damn long.. haha... falala... so what's up ppl? tag me ya? hahaha.. erm.. had been a busy week.. didn't even have time for sufifi... gackt.. feel so bad tt i wasn't there to help her deal with her issues... haish.. it's been a busy week... feel like i haven't been sleeping in ages... been waking up early to mug everyday... been eating aspirin like candy this whole week.. mega throbbing headaches.. and all i wanted to do was like sleep the whole day through.. which i roughly did yesterday.. had a loooong afternoon nap... felt so much better after tt... hmt exams were a killer btw... actually it's not bad lahh... it's just damn ermm... senan-ish... guaranteed tt he's the setter.. haha... so damn political and religious.. even the paper 1 components... i did the idiom thingie.. not argumentative or the factual.. cause i just suck at those.. i can't think in malay... i always end up trying to translate them frm like english to malay... haha... and it's just a waste of time.. a story would be much much easier to write than a factual one... hahaha... cause of my very limited vocab... haha... two extremes.. i suck at malay... but i can score in english.. ranked 1 again on tt list... haha... tyco lorr.. haha... hmm.. today's a sunday.. gg to the airport later.. sending my maid off... haha.. her hiatus would send my dependance on her to a like all time low... nvr survived more than like 3 weeks without a maid... haha... so yeah.. 3 mths.. she'll be back.. there's bahas today at masjid sultan.. i'm like so not going, though farhan is there... haha... they had some stupid lame activities in the morning.. wonder how farhan did.. haha.. he's quite the drama king... haha... farhan is just a great guy.. wonder why those stupid girls keep breaking his heart.. poor him... haha... bahas is like sji vs. ri... ri's been vying for the challenge cup like since forever... but has nvr won.. sji has been champs like once before we got it.. haha.. they're just good lahh.. haha... and i noticed sth... the challenge cup/throphy is like green and white [actually more like transparent], which are sji's school colours.. haha... i'm rooting for them... [since bp got kicked out] yeah... i'll update later on... toddles...

2004-04-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

phew... it's friday already.. haha.. i thought the week wld nvr end.. hahaha... yeah.. went to several non-beneficial (as put by suf) events organized by the school and such.. there has nvr been such a mundane week before... ughh.. hahaha... sports day was on wednesday.. ugghh... it was lame... hahaha... imagine helmet head RUNNING! horrors... [btw.. she rebonded her hair.. now it looks more wig-ish] she ran for yellow hse.. what a disgrace for yellow... haha.. anyway.. talking abt yellow... they were the champions! hahaha... and they won almost all the awards.. bluek... boo! hahaha.. my hse, purple [the colour of gayness n of royalty] got 4th.. haha.. purple are always the losers.. coz we always get the erm... clever bookworms who do not excel in sports... [not me though, i'm not clever and i do not excel in sports as well] yellow has almost all the best sportsmen in the school.. hahaha.. though blue isn't bad.. but it was a consolation tt lee chuang rui... tt homerun kid won overall champion for lower secondary boys... yeah.. tt was cool.. haha.. after tt non-beneficial event went to jp... rotted there.. everywhere was getting boring.. yawnnnns... yeah... anyway, went home like after 2-3 hrs... and went to sleep.. hahaha... erm.. thursday was boring too... =/ april is a boring month for me.. yeah... hahaha... oh.. it was his bdae...
haPPy b'daE sWeetie
tt was all the excitement thursday brought apart frm tuition... which was fun.. as usual.. hahaha... cause all of them just rocks... haha... oh damnit.. have to go tuition... laterz... =)

2004-04-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

hey! haha... notice the picture is missing.. nvm.. i'm gg to upload a new one soon.. hahaha.. i just came back frm obs.. it was, as it claims an experience of a lifetime.. was in watch 12 which was Da Gama... lame name i know... it was all P2.. got to know all of them better... hated some.. liked some even more.. the preconcieved attitudes, character etc etc.. was questioned.. some wasn't as bad as i thought.. and some were not as holy as i thought too.. haha... anyway... here's a summary...

day 1
ermm.. haha.. rather reluctant to go to obs.. gackt.. so kept bothering hariz abt it.. haha... =P got split into our watches.. as stated above ours was called da gama... gee... haha... found out who our instructor was... we got daniel... hahaha... he's like jenkyll and hyde. nough said. hahaha... erm.. collected food rations for the next few days.. and boy do we have a whole bloody lot... haha... oreos and all tt kinda nonsense were also found.. haha.. catering to our sweet tooth i guess.. apart frm dinner.. all the other meals were dry rations... meaning biscuits and bread... u get the pic... erm.. had chit chat session for a little while... was kinda interesting.. we were asked to build a shelter using the blue tarp.. but ours kept sagging.. hahaha... after that had our lunch and changed into our wet suits... it was kayakking... haha.. great fun it is.. haha... i was initially with yong quan... then daniel made us change partners and i ended up with wen zhong.. did the bloody capsize drill and the likes... but it was more like me and wen zhong fooling ard... yeah... he kept wanting to capsize the kayak!! hahaha... anyway kayakked till 6 plus before we made dinner and pitched our tents... had dinner of rice, baked beans and chicken franks... uggh... wasn't tt nice but since i was starving just gobbled it all up.. hahaha... cleaned up quite late... ended up pitching the tents at midnight... and we were lucky there were floodlights.. hahha... or else we wld pitching in complete darkness... went off to sleep soon after.. sleep wasn't all too great.. got freaked out by music in the middle of the night... yeah.. so didn't really sleep much...

day 2
woke up at 6 while the rest were still sleeping their sorry little butts off... aimi and i went down to brush our teeth while the rest slept on... returned to the campsite to strike our tents after the doing our bussiness.. yeah.. we lost the bloody tent pole bag! and qy was totally pg-ing... uggh... had jarrod stuff the tent into the bag coz we cldn't stuff it all in.. erm.. had breakfast and packed our stuff into the given backpacks.. a 50 litre tatonka one... fully packed, i cldn't balance myself with the backpack on.. hahaha.. it was like 15-20 kg.. yeah.. trekked all the way to our campsite... but we had to find markers ard the forest before daniel would tell us where our campsite was.. haha... erm... yeah.. found the markers in good time... reached the campsite at 2.30... uggh.. found out there were no lights or toilets.. haha... one of those dhs kinda sites.. yeah... did the rafting activity.. uggh.. our rafts didn't work! coz daniel shook it and one of the knots were loose.. yeah.. swam at the quarry... was bloody fun! hahah... u cldn't even see ur feet there... it was really really deep... hahaha... amundson and da gama mearged. when we returned to the campsite, we found out tt raffles and cousteau had joined us.. yeah.. so it was rather crowded.. it was damn dark and i kept tripping over the pegging... uggh... cooked dinner for the day... while ming zhu and qy pitched the tent.. when me and aimi finished the cooking, we found out tt they really don't know how to pitch the tents.. uggh... it was inside out if you wanna know.. so had to unpitch it and pitch it all over again before we washed the mess tins by the beach coz they didn't bring the pot along, meaning we had to cook noodles for all of them in bloody mess tins... yeah... had sea ex briefing and went to sleep soon after.. was so damn sleepy tt i just slept like a log.

day 3
woke up at 5+ at the insistence of those pg-ers.. turns out tt han bin and jun nian slept outside the day before.. coz we didn't bring along one tent and the tent was bloody cramped... pity them.. erm.. brushed teeth and pee-ed near the bushes... yeah... had breakfast and unpitched the tents before changing into wet clothes for the sea ex... darn disgusting.... the wet clothes i mean.. so stinky and wet coz we didn't have the space to dry them... packed our bags and put them into the boats... along with our jerry cans.. yeah... had a briefing on the sea ex by shu yun.. and set off soon after... brian was my kayakking partner... brian rocks! haha... he did most of the kayakking and was bloody fast... haha... reached the other campsite in a few hours and trekked to the clearing by the residential area which was to be our campsite... had games before tt of course... damn fun... kept laughing and laughing like crazy.. haha... we pitched the tents before having a buffet of can foods like campbell soup and chicken curry... cleared up by 8.30 before meeting daniel at the residential area.. the residential area was like whoa.. they actually had water coolers and all those conveniences... washed up in the toilets and explored the area. met saf and fadiah... they gave us a guided tour.. haha.. went to their dorms.. they had beds, bedsheets, blankets and even closets.. each two watches had their own dorms with their own toilets.. met ili at the dorm.. she cried upon seeing me and aimi.. guess she missed us too much.. haha.. spent time crapping before we had to go back to the campsite... just went to sleep afterwards coz we were too tired...

day 4
woke up at ard 6... did the things like we did the days before.. had to meet daniel at 8.30 but those pg-ers finished doing everything only at ard 9... coz they had to clean their ponchos... ugghhh... me and aimi who finished doing all we had to do set off first to find daniel to tell him tt we'll be late... when everyone arrived we started with the activities.. did belaying first.. haha.. it was rather fun... did belaying for aimi and got lifted a few inches off the ground when i released her.. haha.. belay calls were rather fun.. it went sth like this:
climber: am i on belay?
belayer: no, you're not
climber: tt's me!
belayer: squeeze check! pull check! instructor check!
climber: climbing
belayer: climb on!
climber: i'm falling!
belayer: fall on!

rather cool.. after we mastered tt went sport climbing.. all of us managed to get up the wall... super cool... hahaha... had lunch and did the inverse tower before trekking back to our first campsite.. yay! did the regular things before starting to clear the stores and boy, did we lose alot of things.. tt is, before we started to seach for them.. slept at 12.. didn't bathe tt day...

day 5
woke up at ard 3.47 before waking the rest up at 4.. while the rest decided to sleep on, me and aimi went ahead and took a bath... waited for the rest before continuing with what we had to do.. cleaned the bags, tents, groundsheets, flysheets and stuff... yeah.. cleared up by ard 9... final losses were as follows: 1 harness, 1 entrenching tool and 1 camping stick. came up to a total of like erm.. 56.70.. it was e highest among all the groups i think.. nvm... after we did the survey and visited the shop to buy some memoirs, headed back to singapore.. yahoo! had loads of food.. real food.. went to ljs to satisfy my hunger and plonked in front of the net to see what i had missed.. hahahaha... my mailbox was flooded! hahaha... slacked the whole day long and my maid cleaned all my stuff... hahaha...

overall, obs was a rather fun experience.. although it was frustrating and tiring at times there were much to be learnt.. daniel was right, we just didn't get it.. but in the end when i thought back, i was rather proud of my time there... and the things i managed to do.. yeah... obs rocked..

2004-04-02T18:45:00.001-08:00

hey dudees... lalala.. early saturday morning already started blogging tsk.. lets see what happened... ermm today's the 3rd rite? shall update on the 1st and 2nd ya?

1/04/04
ermm... let's see.. what did we do.. it was april's fools day rite? haha.. yeah... tt stupid little bitch kept trying to make me the fool with her incorrigible and horrid nonsense.. lucky i had enough sense [or rather, enough brownie points with suf] to not fall for her stupid lame tricks... yeah.. and she got tricked by elfie... and she being the little bitch tt she is, decides to rant and vent her anger on her nice nice friends.. in particular.. me and suf... uggh.. got so damn pissed and irritated... tt we decided to ditch her... said we wanted to go home.. yet we went to ljs to eat... ee ucks.. i was cracking so much tt i wished i cld blast her... stupid fucker... yeah.. went tuition... havoc-ky as usual.. what do you expect of me, mark, ahmad, mel and gou fong? yeah.. exactly.. hahahaha... extorted candy frm ms soh... yeah.. ahmad's 'teachings'.. all tt kinda crap lah... quite fun after such a bad day with tt little bitch... uggh.. u get my point...

02/04/04
my bro's bdae!
HaPPy bda'e Fazli!
yeah.. bought him this orange bottle and a bubbles card... gackt.. blew 15 bucks on tt.. too bad he's my bro and i was broke.. cld have gotten him a better gift.. shopped ard for obs stuff... ooh.. got our watches today.. hmm.. mine was ok i guess... aimi... mavis.. evonne... yeah.. those peeps... pure P2... hahaha... and we got mobile.. tell me i'm gonna die.. hahaha... back to the topic.. yeah... went shopping... then went a-maths tuition... wahlau... damn boring... super sian.. rather have tuition with those few ppl frm emaths... gacktt.... came back.. when online... wanted to kill two ppl.. tt little tattletale/bitch/idiot said some things to someone.. which is like obviously nothing but her fault.. if she hadn't been the little bitch/tattletale/idiot, we won't be trying to avoid her... yeah... n she was the one who kept talking bad abt tt person... and now she's trying to get close to him.. how despo... gackt.. how unpalatable... yeah.. she got me in a rant-y mood.. uggh... annoying little bitch...

03/04/04
erm... today.. yeah.. planning to go buy my solid fuel tabs and firestarters before i go for public duty.. gackt.... laterz...

p.s. i added haloscan to this blog... yeah.. so you can leave comments specifically for tt entry... try it out yeah? ;)

2004-03-31T02:37:00.000-08:00

hey peeps.. haha... i'm damn crazy today.. haha.. had chem test.. had aimi babbling chem equations all over the place.. hehe... nvm... u won't get what i mean.. sheesh.. yeah... school was a bore.. highlight of the day was tt senan didn't come.. haha.. [evil ain't we?] really nothing interesting... haha... so yeah.. fast foward... after school went out wif sufi and fat.. ermm. sufi seemed to be having a moodswing or sth.. so yeah.. wdv.. had lunch at kfc... and felt like vomitting after that.. haha.. we switched identities... haha.. fat was suf... and suf was me.. and i was fat... and we were supposed to act like each other.. meaning... i had to say 'so not the drama' to everything as a reaction... and suf was supposed to say 'oh my god' many many times like i do... haha... and fat was supposed to try to shut us all up.. yeah.. haha... switched bags... with fat.. looked more kentalic than ever.. haha.. i posed as sec 2.. wore the green tag instead of the red one.. haha... was bored... way way bored.. so0 yeah.. had mcd's ice cream... *yay!* and i had to pay for suf's... yeah yeah.. watever... then the ice cream was dripping... like yucks.. hahaha.. and we were like... nvm.. hahaha... totally freaky lah today... bought gummies.. some stupid anderson's of denmark ice-cream guy was outside lot 1... got ambushed.. and he helped himself to our gummies!! not fair man.. haha.. sheesh.. ermm... wanted to wait for someone.. decided against it.. went home.. talked to him.. felt guilty.. now here i am! hahaha... sheesh.. bored and feeling way way guilty.. so yeah... i just wanted to say i'm soRRy really i am... laterz

2004-03-25T23:18:00.000-08:00

hey peepz.. haha.. hi if!!! hehehe... yeah.. haven't been blogging in damn long... haha.. either tired, busy of just plain lazy.. heheh... hmm.. i'm bushed man.. don't want to go to sjab tml! sheesh... they're gonna tekan us coz they were unhappy abt camp.. so yeah.. rather not be there and kena tekan.. hahaha... todae was considered an average kinda day.. had sastera.. had english.. then ss.. then P.E.. and physics and a-maths.. it wasn't boring like the other days.. coz firstly, we had miss tham... and as you know, miss tham rocks my smelly socks... haha... and we were doodling in the crap book... [fyi, the crap book is just a notebook where we write in... kinda like passing notes.. full of crap though] the a-maths period, i doubt i heard anything.. coz i was too busy doodling in the book with aimi and brian.. sheesh.. so much for it being STUPID and a WASTE OF PAPER brian! hahaha.. yeah.. wrote tons of crap.. even had a pic of super duper sumos to simbolize ezra.. haha.. speaking of ezra.. mrs foo quit! amen! hahaha.. n ppl talk abt it like we're such sinners.. like hello? she wanted to? hahaha.. not like ezra is much better... but hey, i can live with him.. haha... oohh.. forgot i had tuition.. sheesh... laterz...

2004-03-17T03:06:00.000-08:00

tml.. i'm headed for camp.. sobz... don't miss me ehh.. haha *hope reverse psychology works.. hehe* lalala... i'm like almost packed up for camp.. torture camp? hahaha.. yeah.. camp actually is ok lahh.. save for the fact we're going to have drills... nooooooo.... hahaha... i hate drills.. haha.. but it's going to be fun... i hope.. *crosses fingers* haha.. went shopping for my camp stuff.. went to aries bought a whole load of rubber bands and such.. u noe how i am.. once i buy this stuff, it get's missing.. so i'll have to buy new ones! hahaha.. actually more like deliberate.. hahaha... and my mum bought me a new torchlight.. new yet same design... same colour as the last one.. haha.. and when i went home, i saw elfie.. hahaha.. god noes what he was doing haha.. he had the same ermm.. visor on as the one he wore at masjid sultan.. hahaha.. watever.. hahaha... i shall go now.. have to pack up.. bwahahaha... it's gonna be heavy. my bag i mean.. i'm not such a gd packer.. hahaha.. gackt.. gtg now.. later.. i'll miss u... love you...

2004-03-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

muahaha... hahaz.. today was a half-day.. so i'm back super-duper early... bwahaha... didn't join suf and all who went to town.. decided to go home and slack after having erm.. brunch with aimi and anis... yeah.. haha... had this reflection thingie today at english class.. yeah.. haha... justin says tt i'm violent cause i keep whacking him with the metal ruler... [hey... u can't blame me.. if u dun whack him, he won't shut up] hahaha... raudhah thinks i'm loud... tt's true.. and a couple of other things lahh... haha... sak and gang of course ganged up to target me again... wdv.. i'm used to it... 2003 me to 2004 me.. there's really a big change.. seems tt over the yrs i've become a different person than i was before... if they don't want to get to know tt side, tt's their problem.. they're stuck in where they were in 2003... yeah... stuck in grudgery and hatred and pranks... yeah... i'm so over tt... cause i've realised tt hating someone would not make u happier than u are... hating someone would just drag u back... and with tt hatred to root u down, ur never going anywhere... yeah... hahaz... it's been one heck of a yr in 2003... now, two months into the new yr, it's a new beginning.. things are getting better... i believe.. haha... yeah.. new friends... new beginnings... all tt... yeah... hahaz... it's a crossroad for me... i'll just have to find which road i want to tread on.. later...

2004-03-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

u want the truth? u want the truth?! you can't handle the truth!
haha.. wrecked havoc todae.. drove brian crazy... cliff was made to change seats todae... so sad... me and justin were talking and talking.. and i was whacking him with a metal ruler... and he kept saying, 'stop trying to bondage me lahh!' haiyah... justin justin... haha... he's more perverse than i thought.... hahaz.. yeah... common test... easy... do you agree that economic issues was the main driving force for separation. explain your answer wrote 2 pages... justin wrote 1.. grant even worse.. wrote less than half.. tt guy arr.. sure nvr study one... haha... got my hmt results... B4 damn... and my sastera... an A2.. kinda unbelieveable if u come and think abt it... but nonetheless... i'm quite happy... feel like whacking someone... he always does tt to me... prioritizing his frens first.. and he wants me to be his gf... what the? nvm.... and he gets reallie down when i compare if and him... if you're just not good enough then why bother rite? after today... definately my answer would be no.. unless any radical changes comes into play... yeah... he can just go date his guy frens... good rite?? yeahh... so me and kamie and fadiah went ard lot 1 instead... at tt juncture, was feeling kinda down if u noe what i mean... and kamie and fadiah were like encouraging me to go for if.. i just dunnoe... i'm inclined towards another.. yet he treats me like some girl who's gonna sit ard waiting for him.. damn.. if onlie i cld shake tt off... iffie's sweet no doubt... still remember v-dae this yr... a bear... roses... chocolates... and pizza... and him being the gentlemanly idiot tt he is.. yeah... haishh... =(

2004-03-05T02:28:00.000-08:00

'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side' master yoda
ehh.. wat was i abt to talk abt uh? hahaz... short term memory loss.. it's infectious.. let's see what happened... hmm... yeah.. changed seating arrangements... haha... now i'm sitting in this manner
|jusTin|me|bRiaN|aiMi
ikhsan|cliFF yuEn|jiA LinG|elAine|
haha.. yeah... fun rite?? haha.. cliff didn't want to move.. yeah.. he says he likes it there! yeah... hahah... justin is my erm.. physics dictionary.. what is the speed of light? the answer: c.. what is c? haha.. i dunnoe.. go find out yourself... haha... n brian's my maths dictionary... haha... he damn pro lahh.. haha.. ermm... ikhsan is my ermm... ovalteenies provider.. haha... n cliff and the aimi are my chill out slacker gang.. good rite? haha... i'm verie happy wif it... justin and i were like scrutinizing love in the air theory.. haha... funny lahh... hahah

2004-03-04T02:11:00.000-08:00

would you tell the truth and nothing but the truth even when the truth hurts?
haha.. today the class got interrogated for cheating... not me lah... generally the geog students... was kinda surprising lahh.. so miss tham gave us this pep talk abt telling the truth and yada-yada-yada.. and basically.. it just made us all feel very bad... hmm.. she started off with this story abt this woman who got raped and the guilty party was not punished because nobody wanted to be the witness... it was just depressing... miss tham and the rest almost cried.. n i cld sense tt miss tham was kinda upset abt us doing those things and not admitting to it... miss tham is a great teacher... once she opened her mouth to confront us abt it.. basically we all just felt so bad.. tt they just confessed to it... yeah... cause it just made us all feel so bad abt doing it... comfort zone crisis mahh.. haha... yeah.. so it was kinda sad lah... but i believe that they'll definately do better next time... yeah.. i trust them.. haha... after sch stayed back.. ate spaghetti at 7-11.. sucky strands of erm... rubber strings covered in red sauce... yeah.. pathetic huh? haha.. yeah.. then went off for tuition... e-maths... yeah.. only 4 ppl... leonard, zuliyana... me and tt guy.. yeah.. haha.. leonard doesn't noe what is an erection... tsk tsk.. pathethic.. he's a guy some more.. tsk.. haha.. was harassing tt guy for an answer to this lame question lahh.. n his reaction was damn funny can? he blushed like hell.. and was super embarassed abt it.. haha.. so funny lah... first time this yr i finished all my sums.. got to leave 10 minutes earlier.. bwahahaha... mel didn't come... she's probably traumatised by what we did last week.. bahh.. haha... or was it cause erm... mark didn't come? nahh... haha

2004-03-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

haha.. today was fun.. though not to the extent of being super fun.. duh.. haha.. super fun is when u go out with iffie and chill and go crazy.. now tt's super fun.. hahaha... lalala... todae had english.. first period.. got our compre back.. haha... aimi was saying tt i was an idiot because i got a 15 and a 1/2 haha... and apparently, tt's the highest.. wdv.. haha... ms tham bought us pringles to pig out on.. haha... [miss tham: yesterday.. i had a bad day... but i went home and remembered that you people are my no. 1.. so ii went to buy chips for u... ] haha.. miss tham so rocks.. she thinks 3P2 is her number 1! haha.. more like havoc number 1 lahh.. haha.. yeah.. we're the best.. haha.. cliff and han bin are sweet.. awww haha.. they are lahh.. haha... cliff is somewhat irritating but he's sweet.... so is han bin.. wee sin... erm.. brian... yong sheng.. haha.. my class guys rock... haha... gummie bears fell off the ceiling le... [if you dun noe refer back to the previous entry] =( haha... yeah... spent the other periods just slacking.. ponned physics to go to the library.. me to finish my tm karangan... n aimi to finish her history.. haha... actually mr chiam aka william chiam was sick.. yeah.. too exasperated with our class that he got sick.. haha... ohhh.. he revealed tt the dr diagnosed him with having low IQ when he was young... and look at where he is now... he was in acs[i].. kinda amazing... n got 6 a's for his 'o's and now has a civil engineering degree... yeah... he told us tt what u were not naturally endowed with like other kids have, you work hard to catch up.. yeah.. i'm impressed... haha.. ohh.. n he's paying for the whole class for our physics assessment book... one which cost 9 bucks... yeah.. third book he paid for this yr... haiyah.. he too naive for his own good le lahh.. haha... hmm... yeah... after sch.. had instant noodles at 7 eleven... haha.. first time this yr... god noes how often i used to digest tt msg laden bowls of instant noodles last yr.. haha.. yeah.. then we chilled at M1.. they were trying to complete history while me and firah.. (who either did not take history.. or completed it yesterday) just sat ard.. looking at them stress and listened to firah's discman.. haha... herman came after his sajak thingie.. n the 3 of us went home together.... [me.. fi and herman] haha.. yeah... he was being the gentlemanly idiot tt he is.. haha... ooohh.. he gave me and firah his photo... so cute!! gahhh... haha.. nvm... pardon my insanity.. nvm... this sounds mundane i noe gahh... but it was fun... onlie tt i'm bored now... =P yay!!! haha...

2004-03-02T00:48:00.000-08:00

bahh.. idiot.. bitch... lalala... mood-swinging idiot... self-centred little asshole... hmmm.. yeah... she is.. damn... haha... ignored her today.. probably she went crying in the toilet.. wdv... i don't give a damn le... i can't give a damn to think... yes.. i can't afford to think abt such things anymore.. why can't u understand tt? whyyy must u emphasize tt ur one heck of a sensitive bitch? haisshhh... i'm really dissapointed tt things turn out like this... i really am... u don't really care abt us do u?? all u care abt is actually urself.. face it... why do u think tt ur always right? why do u think tt the whole world is against u? yeah.. we had sth good going on and poof! you just had to ruin it right??? just because of ur mood-swinging madness rite??? damn... haisshh... i justt... i justt.. dun have anything to say... haissshhhhhhh..... whatever...
nothing u say is gg to make me treat u the way i did...

2004-03-01T02:44:00.000-08:00

yo dudees.. haha.. todae was basically screwed lahh.. haha... was pissed... was somewhat dissapointed... haha.. guess what ppl... senan has a pencil tt's 14 yrs old! and he cldn't sleep when he misplaced it! funny or not? yeah... haha.. had a screwed up day... elfie is a bastard.. but shhhhh.... haha.. erbz lahh... bahh.. n hariz was a being such a .... todae... bahh... haha... had lunch at bk.. again... why do we alwaes feast at bk??? haiyah... nvm.... bahh... i haven't finished my tm karangan... screwed up man.. haha.. he wants it by tml.. forget it lahh... gonna flunk anyway... hahaz... dun care lahh... haha... we had to go police post todae.. haha.. aimi got raped... hahahahahaha... yeah... haha.. tt was wat we said to ppl who asked... haha... nemind... =P